A healthy obsession

The more that I am getting into health and fitness, I am coming across people that look at it negatively.  They are concerned that myself and others like me are becoming "obsessed".  Well, ya know what?  Maybe I am, but it's a healthy obsession. A healthy addiction. God gave me my body, my life and my family.  I want to be the best me.  For myself, for my family and for Him.  It has taken a while to accept it but we deserve to be happy and healthy.  I used to feel bad thinking of all the less fortunate people in the world, sick and hungry.  Along with my existing depression, I felt bad for taking a care of myself, almost as if I was being selfish.  I am realizing that in order to help others I have to help myself, I have to be obsessed with myself.  It can't be a sometimes thing, it has to be an every day, all the time thing. 
I am not talking about being obsessed with my outward appearance or reputation.  Being obsessed with myself or being healthy is a good thing.  It causes me to eat healthy and exercise everyday.  On the days that I take care of me, I stand up straighter, I smile, I am more productive, more organized, it spills over to others around me and I like that. How is that a bad thing?  The word obsessed, as defined by Google is to "preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent."  It doesn't have to be a bad thing, that is why I call it my healthy obsession.  According to the Urban dictionary and the definition I prefer for obsessed " Is just a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated." In my opinion, we need to be obsessed, dedicated to ourselves.  We need to be the best we can be.

Begin again

So it has been a few months since my last blog. I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl Alyssa, on March 15. Improvement on myself has fallen to the way side as all my focus has been on her and Wilamina. Even though focusing on the girls feels like the natural thing to do, I don't feel happy or content. I feel restless, anxious.  I don't feel like myself. I am thinking, who am I now? I was the hard, dependable worker, always showing up to work on time and ready to go. I was Mina's momma. I loved having my nails done and my legs always shaved. Now I can barley get through washing my hair before Alyssa is crying or Mina needs help finding something that just can't wait!  So with all that, I am back to square one.  Beginning again,  on my quest to be the best. Beginning again with improving myself first! Starting tomorrow, I WILL shave my legs. ☆